Having never broken bread with a single soul, on this Internet, is an odd feeling. It means that I have produced nothing of value to make of myself a worthy acquaintance, to anyone. It is a very heavy feeling that grows ever stronger, to the point that. I see no reason to keep on blogging to an empty audience, there is but one living blog linked to me, and the rest are all dead now.
If I have long out lived my usefulness. I have only myself to blame. Having run off all the Christians, even though I do like most of them. I must have put most of the sinners on a guilt trip too, despite the fact, I am one myself.
I surely bummed out the constipated conservatives of all the world's religions; when I accused them of being shakedown artists, and of practising religious idolatry. I ticked off the Republicans, and Democrats, by declaring both parties hopelessly corrupt! Plus I am not always Mr. Sunshine, there is all the gloom and doom, I've been preaching for years, about coming food shortages, revolution, and economic meltdown. Need I say more?
Thanks to Caren, it has been fun, and I have enjoyed the great many marvelous bloggers along the way. For what it is worth, there are many who will be forever dear to me. I did come very close to making a friend, or two, and those good times, are something I will always remember. But after I have smashed their gods, and trampled on their desires, is it any wonder that now I stand alone? There is no doubt I can be offensive, if I have offended you, and it was not on purpose, I do most humbly apologise. All you other young pisspots can just get over it. See!
I'm too much of a kolboynik, and always in a perpetual state of mishegoss, to ever be a rabbi, so just forget it folks.
Yet, something keeps on pushing more and more out of me, I want to spank some Jews most of all, but I know how much that would please the goy. I have a feeling the only way I can do that, is to become a rabbi. No that's not going to happen Mr. Fine. I don't care how much we looked alike.
"A mentsh tracht und G-tt lacht":
A few of us, have taken our own spiritual consecration and tried to make it into a call of G-d, but when we get right with Him He brushes all this aside. Then He gives us a tremendous, riveting pain to fasten our attention on something that we never even dreamed could be His call for us. And for one radiant, flashing moment we see His purpose, and we say, "Here am I! Send me" ( Isaiah 6:8 ).
This call has nothing to do with personal sanctification, but with being made broken bread and poured-out wine. Yet G-d can never make us into wine if we object to the fingers He chooses to use to crush us. We say, "If G-d would only use His own fingers, and make me broken bread and poured-out wine in a special way, then I wouldn’t object!" But when He uses someone we dislike, or some set of circumstances to which we said we would never submit, to crush us, then we object. Yet we must never try to choose the place of our own martyrdom. If we are ever going to be made into wine, we will have to be crushed— you cannot drink grapes. Grapes become wine only when they have been squeezed.
I wonder what finger and thumb G-d has been using to squeeze you? Have you been as hard as a marble and escaped? If you are not ripe yet, and if G-d had squeezed you anyway, the wine produced would have been remarkably bitter. To be a holy person means that the elements of our natural life experience the very presence of G-d as they are providentially broken in His service. We have to be placed into G-d and brought into agreement with Him before we can be broken bread in His hands. Stay right with G-d and let Him do as He likes, and you will find that He is producing the kind of bread and wine that will benefit His other children.
IF IT BE YOUR WILL